If you haven't seen this video, just see it. Wow, so beautiful. Must be one of the most beautiful videos there is.  Seeing this video just blows my mind. The universe... - ah everything. Just blows my mind thinking of how little we really know and how insignificant we all are. Countless wonders about the space.... I could go on forever.

The northern lights, the lightning, the cities at night, just the earth itself- our home... so freakin' beautful.

If you had the chance to just go up in space, would you? I've asked a few people that question, and gotten a "no" every time. Because it's so unknown, scary, risky. But I wouldn't even hesitate. Wow. Even if you do die, isn't that kind of one of the most wonderful ways to go? Being where so few has, seeing all that... Ok, would be nice to have lived a little first. But no, I wouldn't hesitate to do it.. would you?

Someday, I'm going to own a labrador retriever. I'm so inlove with that breed. When I was little my by far biggest dream was to get a dog. But since both me and my mum was allergic it wasn't possible. When I was eight maybe, a woman, Monica, in our neighborhood was in a serious accident, she was hit by a car and breaking her leg so severely that the bone couldn't be saved and she was put in a wheelchair, and did her best to try different things to save her leg - none which worked sucessfully to build the new bone, and she did her best to stand the pain throughtout the coming years. But she had a labrador retriever, Bamse, which she now couldn't go on long walks with, which they both was used to. And since her husband worked long days he hadn't the time to go on daily walks, like Bamse had gotten everyday before. I started talking to them both, seeing her with her dog rolling around the neighboorhood in her wheelchair. And I became friends with the woman, and it ended up that I met them outside on their daily "rolls" - {yes, maybe is the more accurate word} around the neighborhood. I hung out with them all the time, and it was now daily, so everyday at nine o'clock, before I went to bed I met them outside and went with them. 

I always had a strong mind. And I'm very stubborn, so a big dog was so easy to handle for me and I don't think much of what I'm doing with dogs, but I've gotten a lot of complimants from a very early age that I'm very good with dogs, so I guess it's sort of natural. But looking back, I can't understand how she could trust an eightyear old go for three hour walks with such a big dog. When thinking back, I didn't think I was so young at all, but that's the mind of everyone at that age i think, but when seeing pictures from that time - I was so little.

But I loved him, and he loved me, and almost daily I went down to a little lake and walked around it, me and the dog. Going for such a long walks, playing, training... I loved him, and I remember feeling so proud walking with him, because he was so big and I so little. He was such a calm dog, and was loose almost all the time when we weren't on our walks.

When he saw me, coming home with my mom from getting groceries or something, coming from the parking lot, and he then was outside, he did this kind of run-walk towards me with his ears back and his paws going everywhere and was sprinting towards me... Oh, my love for that dog.. And his owner quickly became my best friend, and I hung out with them all the time, being over, helping her, giving her someone to talk to in her pain I guess, and helping taking care of her beautiful dog. I remember her getting out of her wheelchair and sitting herself down on a bench outside so I could sit and go around in her wheelchair. It was so much fun and she just laughed at me.

It didn't take long before she declared me as a part-owner of that dog, and he really was part mine which she always told people, that he was mine. I was so proud to call him mine. He was my first dog, he really was, and I saw him almost everyday, as much as I could, and going on daily "rolls" with him and Monica. I loved that dog so much, and I helpt taking care of him for years. Later on, the christmas when I was eleven - I got my own dog, as a christmaspresent - although that is a whole other story. My little Papillon named Cayenne. And since I now got my own dog I hadn't all the same time as I'd had before, but I actually remember, days after, knocking on their door and asking if I could take Bamse for a walk. "But you have your own dog now? Where is he?" was their respons, and I remember saying that he was boring, because he was soooo little and just slept, and was only a few weeks at that point so I couldn't take him for walks. And they just laughed at me. And I have always been more of a bigdog-person, small dogs doesn't really suit me - even if Cayenne was my dream, he wasn't my dream dog. If that makes sense. And I realize it so much now, I always loved dogs so much and it was such a hobby training them and all that. But now that is gone, and yesterday I trained a big dog again, and all that came back to me and it was so much fun. Big and small dogs really is so different, everything about them - it's almost like it's completely  different things altogether. I'm really more of a bigdog-person.

Later on, things got a bit complicated and I didn't take Bamse for so many walks anymore. I didn't have the time and my own two dogs now. I still saw him outside on his "rolls" with his owner, and he still made those sprints towards me, seeing me... Him and me really shared something special.

We moved and I didn't see him at all after that. My mum ran into Monica at the supermarket in june 2010, and she had told my mum that she finally was going to amputate her leg, after so many non-successful years of extreme pain trying to save it, and Bamse, who'd got sick - with both a joing disease {osteoarthritis} and then they found a tumor - had been put down because he was in so much pain... Hearing those news later on was so weird... He was my dog. I owned half his body - literally, we'd made a deal, I got his face and she got the rest of his body. I hadn't said goodbye... It still feels so weird that he isn't still here and it makes me so sad I'm close to tears. He was my best friend.

I haven't been back to where we lived since we moved. She now has two other dogs I've heard, and sometime soon I plan on visit where I lived for my first fourteen years on this planet. 


I'm over at my uncles house. He has a labrador as well, a brown gorgeous labrador. Fazer - like the chocolate. When he was little he was insane with all the energy in the world, but now, when he is seven, he has calmed down so much and he is so much like Bamse was... He really is the typical labrador now. I could hug him all day if I could.. And Fazer is now my new buddy and we go on walks and play and all that, and he is so happy, and he's so much like Bamse. They mean so much to me.... Labs really are the type of dog that are your best friend, just like in movies... 

Yes, someday, I'm going to own a labrador retriever.

^this is kind of torturing... because soon doesn't seem to be any time soon at all... just snow, snow and more snow. i. want. spring. now.

well - one can hope, right? blizzard out yesterday, and now it's even more snow than before. oh my god, i really can't wait to leave this country. snow and cold really isn't my thing, at all... i'm completely isolated. i can't wait for spring. to be able to run outside. ride my bike, just going nowhere. go on walks, listening to music. just, everything... everything. i'm barely leaving the house now.

no, snow isn't my thing, and i can't wait to leave. it's torture.

{and a big fat thanks to Fabian who took the time to help me yesterday, so now i'm able to edit again. don't know what i would do otherwise. there really is some genuine nice people out there!}

hope you're having a good day, if not, i hope it gets better and smile.

{happy valentines day, people! or for me, the forever alone day! well, we can all be together alone then! a little bit like this, sound good right? have an awesome day either way, and show someone an extra bit of love and kindness to honour the day}

You've all probably heard the news of Witney Houstons death, and almost everyone on facebook has a status saying "RIP" or something in that direction.. Honestly, I couldn't care less. Never been a fan of hers, and just because she is dead I'm not going to be all like "Oh i miss her, I've always been a fan" etc like the majority of people I've seen does. The fact that upsets and makes me so sad is the fact that hundred, thosands of people die everyday from starvation, dirty water and all that, and people doesn't even care and just looks the other way, but as soon as a celebrity dies - the majority of them from their own selfharm and drugs - everyone is heartbroken. I find that so extremely wrong. And that I don't care about her death might sound so heartless to you, but I've never liked her, didn't even know she existed much, didn't listen to her music, so just because she is dead I'm not going to act like I once cared to start with, you know?... like most people seem to do.

"They only care when you're dead".
{But as you probably can understand I'm not happy about her death at all, so don't interpret it that way}

I find it so heartbrokening that people die everyday, that so extremely many people die every minute, all the time from things you can help prevent, and all you do is look the other way. But as soon as someone famous die.... ah, i just can't understand it.. and it breaks me....

{and the same thing was with steve jobs. just can't make sense of where the worlds is heading....}

easy to spot the pole star, isn't it? this picture is taken with the exposure of 40 minutes.

i still don't really like this picture, i think it's so messy, but i wanted to show it anyway. i didn't have time to take more than two pictures that night, in the extreme cold, the other one, completely ruined by my stupid flashlight. i will snap more pictures like this in the furture, soon.

the universe fascinates me, and when it's warmer out, i'm just going to lay under them, staring, wondering, thinking, as much as i can. and hopefully, soon, i can take more pictures like this. someday soon, i will!

Selfportraits/

"So, the cosmonaut. He’s the first man ever to go into space, right? The Russians beat the Americans. So he goes up in this big spaceship, but the only habitable part of it is very small. So the cosmonaut’s in there, and he’s got this portal window, and he’s looking out of it, and he sees the curvature of the earth… for the first time. The first man to ever look at the planet he’s from! And he’s lost in that moment. And all of a sudden, this strange ticking begins coming out of the dashboard. He rips out the control panel, right? Takes out his tools, trying to find this sound — trying to stop this sound. But he can’t find it, he can’t stop it. It keeps going. A few hours into this begins to feel like torture. A few days go by with this sound and he knows that this small sound will break him. He’ll lose his mind. What’s he gonna do? He’s up in space! Alone! In a space closet! He’s got twenty-five days left to go with this sound. So, the cosmonaut decides the only way to save his sanity is to fall in love with this sound. So, he closes his eyes and he goes into his imagination.  And when he opens them, he doesn’t hear ticking anymore. He hears music. And he spends the remainder of his time sailing through space in total bliss and peace."

– Another earth {← everybody, just see that movie... it's amazing... ah! just watch it, okay?}

Har haft sådana extrema déjà vu känslor de senaste dagarna att det är galet - från sommarkvällar och minnen från när jag var liten har bokstavligen öst över mig. Så otroligt underbart, kan inte ens beskriva det. Where have all these memories been hiding though? Så i ära för det, får ni massor av sommarbilder från Stöde från i somras:














{and can someone see my new obsession right now? i really can't stand the ordinary-DSLR-style, i absolutely hate it... and i'm completely in love with the old style of pictures.... really wish i could go back in time sometimes. i find the old pictures from films so stunning, and i wish it wasn't so expensive photographing with film now...

just. amazingly. gorgeous.}